Fitness and Zombie Apocalypse – A Direct Correlation
Are you happy with your current fitness levels? yes? Good for you!!
I was once happy with my fitness levels as well. I wieghed 100kgs and was happy as Larry! In my defence this was during my uni days and being able to run and breath at the same time wasn’t really a requirement for being good at computer games.
I was content in my own little world, mashing away at the game controller, saving princess peach by eating mushrooms and travelling through sewer pipes…until one day whilst watching Will Smith in ‘I AM LEGEND’ (a direct reference to myself!) it dawned on me how quickly I would die if infact their was some sort of infected/zombie outbreak!
From that moment on I vowed to spend sleepless nights researching how to successfully fight off the living dead…unfortunately for me I’ve been sleeping like a baby so I’m screwed!
Anyway, take this as a community service announcment. Getting fittter doesn’t just have the benefits of improving one’s energy levels, wellbeing, general health and dare i say it…Lifestyle but it also influences your ability to survive in a post apocalyptic Zombie world!
Imagine being able to outrun those suckers! According to the B-grade zombie flicks i’ve seen they can be pretty damn fast! Sure sometimes they wobble and hobble about but when they smell brains they’ll be on you like white on rice! Unless you’re that person who everyone says has no brains…then ROCK ON my friend! ROCK OOONN! Actually it reminds me of that famous saying “In the land of Zombies the man with no brains is King”
Now how about your strength levels!? Apparently these guys can be Apretty strong! How much do you bench bro!? How much do you squat!? You better be ready to swing that axe and roll a few heads faster than Vodafone during their network fiasco! Being able to pull your own body weight up from a ledge or even carrying your friend’s prized possession of snow globes will still mean you need some decent strength.
Another important point to consider! After the initial chaos, hysteria and mass looting dies down there’ll be a point when food becomes scarce.
Yes you can turn cannibal and eat the new guy but who’s to say he hasn’t already eaten himself. Worst still, during a Zombie apocalypse you can’t really eat the dead because they’re not *really* dead now are they? So what are you gonna do when you open up the cupboard and there ain’t no food left!?
You’ll have to scavange and forage…which means eating greens! For those already able to eat greens Hooray, you win!!….you get to live to die another day! For those who don’t like eating their leafy greens and vegies…well you might as well pass over those snow globes now becuase you won’t be needing them for much longer.
So as you can see theres so many benefits to becoming fitter, stronger and healthier. Its an opportunity to increase your chances of survival, to pass on your fantastic genes to a generation of babies ! So go on! you know you want to! Start now, live long & prosper.