Go Go power rangers!!
It’s Morphin Time!
Body types!! Wasn’t it great when you were a kid and didn’t care about what your body looked like? ahh…the innocence of childhood.
Three nipples? meh..who cares!
Long arms, short legs and a bald patch from your mum’s dodgy attempt at discovering her short lived career as a hairdresser?! Ain’t nothing but water off a ducks back when I was 22.
But alas how times change and vain we (me) all become!
When it comes to fitness you’ll hear a lot about body types and people’s perception of what they can and can’t achieve due to their genetic predisposition. I use to say it all the time, “oh well I can’t fight genetics….1 Large Big Mac Meal please!” But the truth is being the strongest and fittest version of yourself is about nutrition, discipline and exercise. Your body, no matter what type will respond appropriately given the right stimulus (everyone’s different!).
Below is some information taken from muscleandstrength.com and my own “real world” interpretation!
The Ectomorph! AKA (skinny, lanky, hard gainer)
We all know the ecto! Us bigger people hate the ecto because they have the fastast metabolism ever recorded (true story!) This person usually has a smaller, thinner frame with long limbs and stringy muscle. They are generally quite thin by nature of their genetics. Typically in the gym world these guys and girls are known as ‘hardgainers’ because they hit the gym, lift the weights, eat and eat but still can’t seem to put on much muscle mass!
A great part of being an Ectomorph is their fast matabolism and ability to lose fat quite quickly and fairly easily so this means you shouldn’t eat out with these people…you’ll just end up hating them more!
If you’re a hard gainer and want to build up mass you’ll need to eat like that fat kid during high school camp. You know the one! Don’t worry if you can’t put on weight though because during a zombie apocalypse you’ll probably outrun us all. Damn u!
The Mesomorph! AKA (Damn you! I want your Body!!)
The typical mesomorph has a naturally athletic build with large bone structure and muscles. They have the godly gift of being able to put on and lose weight quite easily which often leads people to think they’re descendants of some perfect alien race…ASGARDIANS!!
Traits include well defined & even muscles, rectangular shaped body, strong physically and gains fat more easily than ectomorphs. These people are always beautiful and energetic, lucky for us they’re always too concerned with how good they look to remember our random bursts of jealous taunts.
In the gym these people are the perfect specimens because their body responds magnificently to weight training, a good combination of weights and cardio will do them wonders! In a zombie apocalypse these people wouldn’t do too bad, they’d have enough strength to fight back and enough endurance to run away however walk past a mirror and its game over…Vanity is always their weakness!
The Endomorph! AKA (Chubby McChubs, Bear wrestler, powerlifter)
Ahh good old Endomorph! The chubby person who’s always good for a hug because…there’s often so much to hug! You love this person because sometimes soft is better than solid (insert inappropriate sexual joke here)
Typically endomorphs can be solid (power lifter) or soft (regular chubby person). They gain fat very easily due to their predisposed genetics (thanks mum!) and are usually though not always shorter in build with thick arms and legs.
Traits of the endomorph include soft and round body, gains muscle and fat very easily, “stocky” build, slow metabolism which means harder to lose fat and although are less defined can have very strong muscles/strength behind them.
Depending on what Endomorph you are (powerlifter/chubby) this will directly affect your hierarchy within the survival team during our inevitable zombie apocalypse. As a powerlifter you’ll be swinging that halberd and leading the charge! However as the regular chubby you’ll be the one sacrificing yourself for either our sustenance (come on! we gotta eat!) or serving as a temporary food distraction for the zombies! (come on! take one for the team…we’re talking about saving humanity here!)
In all seriousness!! its important to understand the typical traits of the three body types but as always it isn’t good to generalise/ This guide pokes a little fun at the stereotypes but also serve to educate you on why some people find it so hard to put on weight whilst others just lose it by sitting around.
As mentioned in the beginning and throughout the previous posts it all comes down to a very simple principle. Calories in Vs Calories out!
the rest is will power, discipline, exercise, knowledge and nutrition…which is always easier said than done.