All posts by DaveLiz

tiger-river2

Blog: Is ink an addiction?

At what point would you consider yourself addicted to ink? And by ink I mean tattoos.

My first prick was at 21 and in many respects I would be considered a late bloomer. Legally in Australia you can get a tattoo without parent consent at 18, with written parent consent you can get it earlier.

“I probably grew up in the wrong generation. I wish I could really say “I was getting tattoos before it was cool”

I’ve always admired tattoos, specifically the real large intricate and elaborate pieces that weave and wrap around a person’s body. In my mind it takes a certain level of commitment, a specific love for the art to cover unadulterated skin like that. I wonder what goes in the minds of these people when they come to terms with the fact they want to cover much of their body.

From personal experience, I can definitely say I would love to have a decent portion of my body inked. I do it because I love being able to express my beliefs through the images I choose to permanently mark on my body. Like a puzzle you can often piece together a person’s persona through the ink trails they leave behind.

These days it seems tattoos may have lost a bit of their mystique, they have lost a little bit of the “that’s different” kind of response because every man, woman and child has one. This can be a good thing because it can be seen as societies softening of their traditional conservative views on tattoos (which is a good thing) however it also opens up the debate of whether tattoos are just a fashion statement, a fad or a fleeting moment of drunken stupor. I probably grew up in the wrong generation. I wish I could really say “I was getting tattoos before it was cool”.

Right now I have scatterings of tattoos mostly on my body where they can be hidden easily with clothing. Why? Well partially because I grew up in a conservative traditional Vietnamese household where my mum was against tattoos (mark of a thug, won’t get a job, people will talk badly about her parenting etc) but also along this journey of life I’ve let societies views on openly visible tattoos affect my  choice of location but never of artwork. Unless you really don’t care and have settled with the potential consequences of how people’s perspective will change then it’s just a sh*tty fact of life that people will judge and may treat you differently.

Anyway, I hope to get more tattoos soon in September when I’m overseas. A Polynesian design perhaps, more mandalas, who knows what ink trails life will lead me to!

Not there yet
Not there yet
power rangers

Gym: Ectomorph – Mesomorph – Endomorph – Mighty Morphin!

Go Go power rangers!!

It’s Morphin Time!

Body types!! Wasn’t it great when you were a kid and didn’t care about what your body looked like? ahh…the innocence of childhood.

Three nipples? meh..who cares!

Long arms, short legs and a bald patch from your mum’s dodgy attempt at discovering her short lived career as a hairdresser?! Ain’t nothing but water off a ducks back when I was 22.

But alas how times change and vain we (me) all become!

When it comes to fitness you’ll hear a lot about body types and people’s perception of what they can and can’t achieve due to their genetic predisposition. I use to say it all the time, “oh well I can’t fight genetics….1 Large Big Mac Meal please!” But the truth is being the strongest and fittest version of yourself is about nutrition, discipline and exercise. Your body, no matter what type will respond appropriately given the right stimulus (everyone’s different!).

Below is some information taken from muscleandstrength.com and my own “real world” interpretation!

The Ectomorph! AKA (skinny, lanky, hard gainer)

We all know the ecto! Us bigger people hate the ecto because they have the fastast metabolism ever recorded (true story!) This person usually has a smaller, thinner frame with long limbs and stringy muscle. They are generally quite thin by nature of their genetics. Typically in the gym world these guys and girls are known as ‘hardgainers’ because they hit the gym, lift the weights, eat and eat but still can’t seem to put on much muscle mass!

A great part of being an Ectomorph is their fast matabolism and ability to lose fat quite quickly and fairly easily so this means you shouldn’t eat out with these people…you’ll just end up hating them more!

If you’re a hard gainer and want to build up mass you’ll need to eat like that fat kid during high school camp. You know the one! Don’t worry if you can’t put on weight though because during a zombie apocalypse you’ll probably outrun us all. Damn u!

 The Mesomorph! AKA (Damn you! I want your Body!!) 

The typical mesomorph has a naturally athletic build with large bone structure and muscles. They have the godly gift of being able to put on and lose weight quite easily which often leads people to think they’re descendants of some perfect alien race…ASGARDIANS!!

Traits include well defined & even muscles, rectangular shaped body, strong physically and gains fat more easily than ectomorphs. These people are always beautiful and energetic, lucky for us they’re always too concerned with how good they look to remember our random bursts of jealous taunts.

In the gym these people are the perfect specimens because their body responds magnificently to weight training, a good combination of weights and cardio will do them wonders! In a zombie apocalypse these people wouldn’t do too bad, they’d have enough strength to fight back and enough endurance to run away however walk past a mirror and its game over…Vanity is always their weakness!

The Endomorph! AKA (Chubby McChubs, Bear wrestler, powerlifter)

Ahh good old Endomorph! The chubby person who’s always good for a hug because…there’s often so much to hug! You love this person because sometimes soft is better than solid (insert inappropriate sexual joke here)

Typically endomorphs can be solid (power lifter) or soft (regular chubby person). They gain fat very easily due to their predisposed genetics (thanks mum!) and are usually though not always shorter in build with thick arms and legs.

Traits of the endomorph include soft and round body, gains muscle and fat very easily, “stocky” build, slow metabolism which means harder to lose fat and although are less defined can have very strong muscles/strength behind them.

Depending on what Endomorph you are (powerlifter/chubby) this will directly affect your hierarchy within the survival team during our inevitable zombie apocalypse. As a powerlifter you’ll be swinging that halberd and leading the charge! However as the regular chubby you’ll be the one sacrificing yourself for either our sustenance (come on! we gotta eat!) or serving as a temporary food distraction for the zombies! (come on! take one for the team…we’re talking about saving humanity here!)

In all seriousness!! its important to understand the typical traits of the three body types but as always it isn’t good to generalise/ This guide pokes a little fun at the stereotypes but also serve to educate you on why some people find it so hard to put on weight whilst others just lose it by sitting around.

As mentioned in the beginning and throughout the previous posts it all comes down to a very simple principle. Calories in Vs Calories out!

the rest is will power, discipline, exercise, knowledge and nutrition…which is always easier said than done.

Prepping meals like a BOSS

Gym: Guide to Meal Prep

Time to Cut the Fat

While winter is the perfect time to go on a bulk because we’re all covered up in layers of clothing and no one really cares to show off their body, I have made the conscious choice of going on a mini 8 week cut.

Why? Well seeing as you didn’t ask. I’m cutting because in 2 months time i’m going to be a married man and like every other female I want to look my best.

Yes, you heard right! I admit it, I have a HUGE P…retentious ego that is driven by an unwavering unashamed need to be vain!

I don’t care what you say, because lets be honest…this is a one way blog and no one really reads my dribble anyway.

So what am I doing on this cut? wow…why so many questions?! Well using my newly upgraded fangdangle Fitness Calculator I developed I’ve concluded that I’ll need to reduce my calories down to 2500.

Download My AWESOME calculator here

  • Taking 2500 as my goal, I seperate the calories into portions of Protein/Carbs and Fats.
  • Now I convert these portions of calories into grams.
  • works out to be roughly 250grams of protein, 250grams carbs and 70 grams of fats (all you math nerds can correct me on that).

In order to achieve this I’m eating three meals a day and have pre-packed my lunches. Measured out the portions appropriately based on the nutrition labels and using a digital food scale.

Prepping meals like a BOSS
Prepping meals like a BOSS

For example if 100 grams of brown rice has 32 grams of carbs: -To work out how much carbs is in 1 gram of brown rice: 100/32=3.125.

Take 3.125 x 250 (which is the number of allowed carbs in grams) this equates to 781 grams of brown rice per day.

Same for protein. My Basa fillets has 17grams of protein per 100gram of fillet.  

100/17 = 5.88

5.88 x 250 = 1470 grams of basa fillet per day

These numbers are based on the assumption that I will only eat this particular carb source (brown rice) or protein source (basa fillet). They are used as examples only.

Currrently my sources for:

• Protein: Chicken tenders, Basa fillet, chicken thigh fillet, lean pork/beef mince

• Carbs: Brown rice, white rice, whole meal spaghetti, sweet potato

• Fat: Peanut butter, avocado and other minimal fats used in cooking

So there you go. Every Sunday I spend a good portion of my evening preparing  my weekday lunch meals and putting them into boxes. It’s can be a tedious or therapeutic process depending on how you want to winde down on a Sunday evening.

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Blog: There’s something about dog owners…

The RSPCA Million Paws Dog Walk was in full swing on Sunday 18th May and the first thing that came to my mind was how fantastic it was to see dog lovers out in force on such a beautiful day!

There’s something to be said about dog owners, some kudos to be given! The idea of paying $15 for your dog to attend a dog walk to raise funds for the RSPCA is something special. I also think it speaks volumes about a person’s character, people who are willing to spend money on their dog/s just to pamper them with cuddles, walks, socialising and treats for a full day, in my view can’t be bad people!IMG_20140519_141136

The good owners are people you can trust. They express a certain
vibe that’s similar to the vibe of their dog. You know how they are by just looking at how they treat their furry friend! They can be chilled and relaxed or adventurous and energetic! Often they are the human embodiment of their dog!

“a human handshake without the weird human contact”

Perhaps there is an unwritten code, a silent bond, an admiration of sorts between canine owners that make us really appreciate one another. The quick smile and affirming nod that occurs when you walk by with your dogs is kind of like a human handshake without the weird human contact.

Anyway, that’s just my reflection on the great day I had with Toffee and Molly at the RSPCA Million Paws Dog Walk. The girls even walked away with certificates of completion!

 

Arnold-conquer

Gym: Annoying stuff @ the GYM

Top gym Annoyances

Because I think i’m just that special and my opinion matters i’m going to dedicate a whole thread on what i find annoying at the gym!!

If you fall into one or more categories described below then we can never be friends. I’m sorry…I love you and all, you’re a great person with a beautiful personality, i’m sure you’ll find another training partner… but let me just say “it’s not you…it’s me.”

  1. You come into the gym to socialise – These people annoy me because they obviously can’t fathom the idea of lifting something up and putting it back down without moving their mouth. They will often go with a friend who also doesn’t lift and continues to chat throughout the set…the set that eventually gets done 30 minutes into their “workout”. I don’t hate on people who want to say hello and a quick “how you doing?” but please! spare everyone the talk about how you think your little cat Tinkerbell is plotting to kill you by swapping your deodorant with insecticide
  2. You leave your phone/towel on the equipment when you’re not using it – “Are you done with that?” yes? then why is your towel on it!!! Seriously people, the gym is there to be shared. If you’ve finished your set or feel like socialising the least you can do is take your stuff off so others can use it while you waste your time working your mouth. Putting your towel down on a bench and walking away for 5 minutes doesn’t constitute it being reserved! If you’re taking a break between your sets then that’s cool but if you’re a serious gym go’er your rest should be no more than 60 – 90 secs.
  3. My weights need a rest
    My weights need a rest
  4. You put excessive weight on the machine/bar just to move it an inch and then celebrate like you’ve just beat Mohammed Ali in a bar fight – when in fact you just look like a loser and an amateur. These people think that moving a weight is the same as lifting a weight! These same people also don’t appreciate the concept of good form and injury prevention, they would rather move something an inch just to satisfy their ego then go the full range of motion and be a winner! Lower the weight or forever be doomed with the label douche bag.
  5. Did 10 reps...not even once!
    Did 10 reps…not even once!
  6. Oh dear lord even my tears are shedding tears just watching you lift with BAD FORM – I’m no  form police by any means but again it makes me wonder what some people are thinking when they’re swinging a dumb bell around the room like they’re about to throw the discuss. When you do a bicep curl there isn’t a need to extend your back so much they you’re using everything but yout bicep to curl the weight. This goes for every lift, using bad form really just shows how dangerous you are to yourself and how much basic information you should be reading up on.
  7. Grunters, grunt, grunt,grunt, ROOOAR!!! – No! you don’t sound like a lion but more like a caveman at the first sight of fire. I have nothing against people who grunt, there is a time and place for it such as when you lift really heavy (90 – 100% of your 1 rep max) and going for a max rep or PR. But to keep on grunting even on the first rep of the first set…come on!!! Seriously i think these people have been deprived of attention or perhaps they weren’t hugged enough when young. Either way, please tone it down a few notches the guy across the road just made a complaint.
  8. People who ask questions mid set – Dude! are you a pirate? are you wearing an eye patch that restricts your vision because unless you have a vision problem don’t tell me you don’t notice me doing my thing here! Don’t come up to me or anyone else and ask how many sets they have left while they are in the middle of the set! its damn rude and quite frankly off putting! I don’t get myself in the zone or in the right mindset just for some person with no common sense to jump in and expect an answer mid way. So if i ignore you please don’t think i’m being rude, think of it more like I hate you right now and you should stop talking to me.
  9. Texting or checking your phone as you’re working out – Look, I’ve been found guilty of this once or twice but never has it interfered with the training of other people. If you pick up your phone during the rest periods then that’s cool, just do it without sitting on a bench or another machine whilst someone else is waiting to use it. The gym is there to share and everyone wants to get their workout in. We can’t stand around in the hopes that you will finish off your set, take a quick selfie and then update your Facebook status about how hard you’re working at the gym…ain’t nobody got time for that!
  10. Douche bags that will randomly call out “one more! All you! Yeah push push” while you exercise thinking that they’re helping when really they’re not – I’m sure these guys think they’re helping you grind out that last rep but unless they’re your training partner then they’re just being annoying. I don’t need your random
    “motivational quote” you found on Google, you should concentrate on working an actual muscle that isn’t attached to your face. More importantly when I’m grinding out my last rep, nearly on the verge of death the last thing I want is some egg head to call out “COME ON!! ONE MORE REP”.
  11. Random Spotters not welcome – oh gosh, worse than someone calling out “motivational” words of wisdom are those that feel its ok to actually come up and physically assault you!…ok maybe assault is too much but spot you. Listen here friend…sure it may look like i’m pushing hard on my last rep, some may even say I’m struggling/dying on the last rep BUT when you come over and touch the weight/bar/machine it actually takes away from my focus and you don’t realise it but at that same moment when your little grubby fingers touches the bar…a small kitten somewhere in the world passes away…and it’s all your fault. So please, for the sake of all kittens world wide Don’t randomly spot me.
  12. It’s just hard work BRO – That’s a lie and you know it! This isn’t so much seen in the gym because you wouldn’t expect anyone of these people to admit it but when you see those big guys that look very impressive at the gym…truth is they’re probably on some sort of “enhancement drug” AKA steroids. Its well known within the fitness industry that fitness models, body builders and nearly anyone that makes a living out of selling fitness, their body has gotten to that level with the help of drugs. I see quite a few people at the gym that look great and when i mean great i mean godly (<10% body fat, shredded, great muscle mass) sure they still work out very hard and their nutrition is impeccable but It disappoints me when they give the younger generation the perception that its all attainable naturally when really its a false hope.
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Blog: Winter is coming…not really just our wedding

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I love the notion of wedding plans. Similar to the terms childproof, religious tolerance, pretty ugly and Government Intelligence the idea of having a ‘wedding plan‘ is one of the worlds biggest oxymoron’s.

The term wedding alone scares the crap out of some men whilst the word ‘plan’ is just one letter short of a transportation method for getting the hell outta there! None the less wedding plans are a necessity when it comes to two people tying the knot (like a noose over a man’s neck, that kinda knot).

Personally, I think Liz and I have done pretty well with our wedding plans. There is that one issue of funding it but who cares about that!? Liz and I live on loooove! Love will show us the way! Love will always win!!! (sarcasm)

Anyway in this day and age when the mere whisper of the word ‘marriage’ means $$$ (not sarcasm), its a good idea to see which areas of the wedding you can save money on.

A good place to start is online. We all know online businesses is the saving grace of all shoppers and the bane of all traditional store owners but when it comes to saving hundreds of dollars then it’s really a no-brainer!

Aliexpress

One good place to start is: www.aliexpress.com.                          Aliexpress is kind of like the Aladdin’s cave of everything and anything. Cheap items on the cheap! You can literally find all sorts of wedding related gear on there from invitations to wedding favours, decorations to dresses.

MyTuxedo

For guys clothing, mytuxedo.com.au is also another online store that has items on the cheap. I got a vest from them and it looks nice enough…though I’ve always been the type of guy that thinks ‘nice enough’ was always enough.

Gumtree

Gumtree and I guess those local trade websites are also a good place to pick up stuff. Liz and I got our Japanese fans from Gumtree off a lady who had bought too many for her wedding. If we had gone retail they would have cost $3-$5 each where as we paid $40 for 50 fans!

Wedding Expo’s

Yes, I did attend a wedding expo…in fact I attended two. (Yes my vagina is growing as I write this) Regardless of what you may think of them, wedding expo’s are a good place to start or at least consider because its a one stop shop for all your vendors. Sure you can shop around but if you’re lazy then you can find them all in the one convenient venue. A simple Google search will show you the plethora of venues and dates for these travelling expo’s and the good(?) thing is many of them will offer some sort of promotional discount for couples who wish to order their services on the day.

Finally, another good place to start is with friends and family who  have been married already. Even better ask the advice of those that have married many times over! Apart from potentially insulting them about their marriage record you’re letting them know that their wise words of advice are valued thus negating any ill feelings that were developed ha!

 

 

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Gym: Fitness and Zombies: Once bitten, Twice dead

Fitness and Zombie Apocalypse – A Direct Correlation

Are you happy with your current fitness levels? yes? Good for you!!

I was once happy with my fitness levels as well. I wieghed 100kgs and was happy as Larry! In my defence this was during my uni days and being able to run and breath at the same time wasn’t really a requirement for being good at computer games.

I was content in my own little world, mashing away at the game controller, saving princess peach by eating mushrooms and travelling through sewer pipes…until one day whilst watching Will Smith in ‘I AM LEGEND’ (a direct reference to myself!) it dawned on me how quickly I would die if infact their was some sort of infected/zombie outbreak!

From that moment on I vowed to spend sleepless nights researching how to successfully fight off the living dead…unfortunately for me I’ve been sleeping like a baby so I’m screwed!

Anyway, take this as a community service announcment. Getting fittter doesn’t just have the benefits of improving one’s energy levels, wellbeing, general health and dare i say it…Lifestyle but it also influences your ability to survive in a post apocalyptic Zombie world!

Imagine being able to outrun those suckers! According to the B-grade zombie flicks i’ve seen they can be pretty damn fast! Sure sometimes they wobble and hobble about but when they smell brains they’ll be on you like white on rice! Unless you’re that person who everyone says has no brains…then ROCK ON my friend! ROCK OOONN! Actually it reminds me of that famous saying “In the land of Zombies the man with no brains is King”

Now how about your strength levels!? Apparently these guys can be Apretty strong! How much do you bench bro!? How much do you squat!? You better be ready to swing that axe and roll a few heads faster than Vodafone during their network fiasco! Being able to pull your own body weight up from a ledge or even carrying your friend’s prized possession of snow globes will still mean you need some decent strength.

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Yeah that’s me. I’m Awesome!

Another important point to consider! After the initial chaos, hysteria and mass looting dies down there’ll be a point when food becomes scarce.

Yes you can turn cannibal and eat the new guy but who’s to say he hasn’t already eaten himself. Worst still, during a Zombie apocalypse you can’t really eat the dead because they’re not *really* dead now are they? So what are you gonna do when you open up the cupboard and there ain’t no food left!?

You’ll have to scavange and forage…which means eating greens! For those already able to eat greens Hooray, you win!!….you get to live to die another day! For those who don’t like eating their leafy greens and vegies…well you might as well pass over those snow globes now becuase you won’t be needing them for much longer.

So as you can see theres so many benefits to becoming fitter, stronger and healthier. Its an opportunity to increase your chances of survival, to pass on your fantastic genes to a generation of babies ! So go on! you know you want to! Start now, live long & prosper.